Women, spend time with yourselves (instead of the “travel alone” thing)

ALONE. Separated from others. Exclusive of anyone or anything else. Having no one else present. On one’s own. Indicating that something is confirmed to the specified subject or recipient.

Every two or three months, I book a night or two of accommodation for one person in Warburton. Yes, I have a husband, a best friend, a sister who could accompany me, but I choose to take these trips without a companion. Why? Because I believe that it’s incredibly important for people to spend some time with themselves. Especially when those people are women. It’s important for men, too, but it really hit me that this really is still predominantly such a women’s issue when I was sitting in a café on the weekend waiting to order breakfast; I eventually called someone over to take my order, and he said “ohh, I just assumed you were waiting for someone.” That’s when I decided to write this post instead of another food review.

If, like me, you’re a lady who enjoys her travels, you’ll have no doubt read the myriad articles and blog posts out there titled “Why All Women Should Travel Alone” or one of its variations. You’ll be a better person if you can be more independent, they say.  You’ll meet so many new people that you’d never have had the change to meet if you were travelling with a companion. You’ll be forced right out of your comfort zone. You’ll be able to eat and drink and see and do whatever you want and no one can stop you!!! Oh, and you should definitely do this before you turn 30. Because apparently your years of excitement and adventure end and your carriage will turn back into a pumpkin then.


These articles aren’t all bad; I’m all for anything that encourages women to take control of their lives, but I think there is a HUGE difference between “travelling alone” and “spending time with yourself.” 

As a textbook introvert who suffers from depression and anxiety, I actually really enjoy having my husband with me when I travel. It’s not that I can’t travel alone (I have) or that I don’t enjoy it (I did) or that I got nothing out of it (I did) or that I’m helplessly reliant on him (I’m most certainly not); it’s that he actually really is my best friend and I have way more fun when I’m sharing my adventures with him. The reason we’ve worked so well for almost 13 years is that he encourages my natural tendency to be independent. I’m just as capable of speaking to a stranger in a foreign country with him by my side. And forcing an anxious introvert out of her comfort zone without backup isn’t always a great idea! So I really don’t think “travelling alone” is all that relevant or important.

Some other articles propagate the idea of travelling alone in order to feel more freedom, to increase your confidence, to become more self-reliant and to better understand yourself. Those are all brilliant things for any lady to have at her disposal, but I don’t think they come from “travelling alone;” I think you’ll find they come from spending time with yourself. Go back to the definitions of the word “alone” at the start of the post. I read that as being isolated and cut off, maybe even from yourself. When I take my little solo trips, I don’t see them as taking time to be alone, I see them as taking time to be with myself. I meditate. I reflect on the last few weeks or months. I try to understand how I’ve come to be where I am right now. I set some goals for myself, treat myself to a massage, a riverside walk where I say hello to everyone I pass, a trip to an antique shop where I chat with the gentleman behind the counter.

Yeah, I’m taking these trips without a companion, but I don’t feel “alone,” separated or exclusive to anything. I’m spending time with me. Instead of ignoring the niggling feeling of “not enough-ness” that drives so many people to travel (thinking that if they ignore those scary feelings and just escape, they’ll magically find some answers), I’m learning to make friends with it. Instead of shoving it aside while I take a selfie under the Eiffel Tower and post it to Instagram with an “I-don’t-need-no-man-to-take-me-to-Paris” caption, I’m sitting down to a pot of tea and a jam-smothered scone with it and trying to work out how I can let it go on its way without me.


You don’t need to travel the world alone to grow as a person, ladies. You just need to spend a little time with YOU 🙂

Advertisements

Photo essay: We learn to bend so that we won’t break

 

We learn to bend so that we won’t break.  Those are our options.

A part of me wants to tell the world I have been hurt too many times to move ahead.
A part of me wants to justify how my pain has left me frozen, petrfied, and unable to let go.
A part of me is so afraid to look at what is hurting me that it would rather escape than face it.
A part of me us afraid to see because it knows that in seeing, I will be asked to let go. And that in letting go, I will be asked to be reborn. And that in being reborn, I will have to uncover who I truly am.

But another part of me knows in every ounce and inch of its being that I am serving no one,  not one single life by staying asleep.
A part of me is beckoning me to move up and out from all of the places of ungrowth, the dark rooms of stagnant air.
A part of me is being propelled out into this great wilderness, and asking to discover the power hidden within the creases of my skin, resting on the tips of my eyelashes, travelling in the veins that surge through me.

You are longing to be more alive.
You are longing to be fully present to your one, precious life.
You are not afraid.
You are ready, dear one, to be accountable, to be wholly responsible for your life.

 

If you can relate to any of those words, I’d really recommend taking 10 minutes out of your day to listen to Sarah Blondin’s full meditation right here from the Live Awake Project. As for the photos, they were all taken in Warburton last week, while I was there taking a little time away from it all, learning to bend 🙂

Read this: So Sad Today by Melissa Broder

So Sad Today
by Melissa Broder

I saw a photo of this book alongside a nice big Starbucks cup on Kate’s Instagram page while I was stalking her trip around New York and that combined with her caption was about all it took to convince me to buy myself a copy.

A poet and writer who started the @SoSadToday Twitter account a few years ago, Broder brought out this little pink and purple gem of personal essays a few months ago, and I think it’s an either love it or hate it kinda read. I loved it.

While I’ve never been addicted to drugs, had an open marriage or gone on anonymous sex benders, there was a lot I COULD relate to. She writes brutally and honestly about topics that I still find difficult to even just contemplate in my own mind, let alone voice out loud.

Disordered eating and body dysmorphia.

Depression and anti-depressants and their effects.

Crippling anxiety and feeling so much safer when you’re alone.

The essay entitled “Honk If There’s A Committee In Your Head Trying To Kill You” made me laugh and almost cry at the same time. Because that is exactly how I feel a lot of the time! Actually, a lot of her thoughts rang bells for me; this crazy woman has managed to voice so much of my demented internal monologue, it’s actually frightening. And kind of comforting, knowing that I’m really not alone. The start of her essay “I Want to Be a Whole Person but Really Thin” was another one that really stopped me in my tracks and made me feel things I didn’t want to feel and acknowledge. This is how it starts…

I am a vanity eater, a machinelike eater, a suppresser-of-feels eater. I save the bulk of my calories for the end of the day so that I have something sweet and seemingly unlimited to look forward to. I do not trust the universe to provide anything to fill my apparently bottomless hunger. That’s the case with my consumption of a whole pint of diet ice cream with six packets of Equal poured into it every single night. It’s a way of offering myself something cloyingly saccharine and seemingly infinite. I don’t believe that the world, or god, will give me that sweetness. So I am giving it to myself. I am going to bed full of sweetness that the day may not have provided. And I am defeating the laws of nature by doing this with diet ice cream. Most nights I would rather curl up with the diet ice cream than be in the world.

 

I think the most difficult thing that some readers will find with this book is the concept of “first world problems” and thinking that actually, compared to some people, she probably wasn’t struggling that badly. But as she writes, and something else that really rang true for me, “I feel bad about my struggle, because it is nothing compared to other people’s struggled and yet it still hurts.”

What I think I love most about this book is that it’s really not mopey or whiney or “feel sorry for me and my middle-class white-girl problems.” That’s certainly not how it came across to me, anyway. Everyone has their struggles and their demons, and everyone deals with them differently. This particular woman decided to write about some of hers (and I can relate because I’ve always turned to writing when things have been hard), and that’s brave.

The knowledge that you’re not the only one who is so sad today, for whatever reasons, is a comfort. And for my generation of women, who are expected to have a stellar career and perfect marriage and beautiful children and stay thin and fit and healthy, but still eat burgers with the guys and enjoy cocktails with the girls, and have time to workout and read and volunteer and shop and cook and clean and work and all the other crap, sometimes the best thing in the world is to know we’re not alone, our worries aren’t petty, and that what we’re going through matters. Grab a copy here and enjoy (or not!)  🙂

10 things I learnt from spending the week knocked on my ass with constant migraines

migraine1

Wow. What a week. Last Wednesday, I had a wisdom tooth yanked out. No worries, can deal with that. What I wasn’t expecting was the aftermath of continuous headaches punctuated by debilitating migraines for the next several days. I’ve never been in so much pain in my life. And I’ve been in some pain before! I’ve always experienced migraines, but never for so long – it’s currently day 10 and I’m still not 100%. How the hell does this happen?! And it’s not even just been the thumping head – it’s been the nausea and extreme light sensitivity, too. May as well do it properly! Anyway, I’ve basically turned into a pyjama-wearing, tea-drinking, unable-to-open-the-blinds-or-turn-on-the-lights vampire. It’s great. It’s actually been a good learning experience though, and given that this blog is as much for me as it is for my lovely readers, I thought I’d record the 10 biggest lessons I’ve learnt in the last 10 days, just in case you’re in struggle town too and need to know that’s perfectly ok…

migraine2

1. I’m not invincible.
Duh. I try really hard to convince myself that I am, but I’m really not. Neither is anyone else. I think it’s a lot tougher on women these days, with the expectation to look amazing and have a great career and eat well and work out and be a good friend and daughter and sister and all the rest of it… when society has such demented expectations on us ladies, it’s no wonder we feel so bad when things go to shit! But regardless of what we see on social media, we are not invincible. So stop trying to be; accept that you’re human and fallible and work with it instead of against it!

2. Strong tea and buttered toast always helps
For real. When your feeling hideously nauseated and the light of day burns your eyes, you want something simple and settling. Tea and toast is a life saver.

3. Listening to your body is actually a non-negotiable
Because when you try to be stubborn and keep pushing and thinking you’ll be able to beat it all, you’re gonna come crashing on down. And that hurts. When your body can’t stand up without feeling dizzy and you can’t open your eyes because the sun hurts to bad and you can actually feel your head throbbing so loudly you’re sure your dog can hear it, you need to just slow down and put self care about everything else. Not negotiable.

4. Nurse On Call is an amazing service
So after a few days, when I realised this wasn’t just a normal migraine that would pass in a timely fashion, I started to panic a little. I resisted the urge to Google “continuous migraines” knowing that I’d only be told I had a brain tumour and 3 hours to live; instead, I called the angels also known as Nurse On Call. It’s an amazing service funded by the Victoria government that makes medical advice available 24/7 to Victorians. It’s staffed by registered nurses with at least 2 years’ experience working in hospitals, and they are wonderful people!

5. Now is not the time to beat yourself up about not hitting your FitBit step count
My anxiety and disordered eating are peaking at the moment; being unable to walk around the house, much less exercise, has been stressing me the hell out. Especially since this week was going to be my “re-set week” (when things go to crap, as they often do, I go back to my recovery plan and re-set and start again). But until I’m whole and well again, I can’t effectively do much else. It’s killing me to rest and recover with the most exercise I’ve done in the past week and a half being hanging the washing on the line and taking it back down, but now’s not the time to hate on myself. You can’t get better when someone’s being mean to you, and that includes yourself.

6. If you think you’re fine, you’re probably actually not and need another few days before going out for breakfast
I thought I was fine (enough) last weekend to go out for breaky; I was back at home in blinding pain an hour and a half later. Once you’re finally at the point where you feel OK, give it another day or two before you test the theory.

7. Man’s best friend isn’t just some silly cliche
I literally have no idea what I’d have done this past week and a half without Marley. He has the most incredible sixth sense and usually knows when we’re sick before we do. And when we are this sick, he become a cuddly little shadow; he’s followed my everywhere (I can’t even pee alone, seriously), sat quietly and calmly by my side all day, always touching me, and has just been giving off a general air of love and protection. If you don’t have a pet that you have this strong a connection to, this won’t make any sense to you.

8. Make life easy for yourself and plan ahead for emergencies like this with frozen meals
I’ve actually been doing this for a few months now; I bulk cook a meal once a week and freeze the left overs in individual meal baggies. With me at home unable to move and the husband still working full days, I cannot tell you how much of a relief it’s been to just pull a baggie out of the freezer in the morning and have dinner ready to go that night! Favourites at the moment are these mini meatloaves with pasta and veggies, this stupidly easy fried rice and tubs of sugo (sauce) ready to have polenta or pasta added to them.

9. You will at some point be so bored that you go on an online shopping spree
I’m prone to having ASOS accidents at delicate times. I’ve actually become a lot less materialistic in the last few years, which I’m proud of, but that means that I’m also still wearing a lot of the same winter clothes I’ve been wearing for the past few years. Some stuff I needed, some stuff I just wanted because it was on sale. Self-love is always gonna help recovery from illness, and if you want to show yourself a bit of self love with a new $18 dress, why the hell not?!

10. It highlighted one of the biggest reasons for why I’ve never really seriously considered having kids
This was a really painful truth to realise, and I really hope that I don’t elicit any nastiness or judgement for sharing it; again, as this is my journal and time capsule, it’s something I do want to record and remember, because every bump is a lesson. Having been in a wonderful relationship for a very long time, the inevitable “when are you having kids?” question has been asked more times than I can stomach, and saying “I don’t want any” over and over again has been much easier than saying “because I have other goals in life than motherhood and also my mental illness struggles are real, even if you can’t see them, and what an irresponsible bitch I’d be to bring another life into this world when there are days I can’t even look after myself.” Sure, this time was a never-ending migraine, but what if it was a depressive spell? The amount of guilt I’ve experienced over being unable to walk Marley every day like we usually do is killing me; imagine if this was a human child. Yes, I’m a very over-logical thinker, I can’t help it!

 

 

Anyway, it’s finally another weekend, which means that come work time next week, I’ll finally be back to a functioning human being who’s able to flick on a light switch without cowering behind the nearest door. Happy weekend, friends; I hope everyone else is in wonderful health and looking after themselves!! And if anyone else has any migraine experience, please share anything that helps!

8 Things That Help Me Get Through The Blue Days

A while ago I wrote that I’d share a bit more of the not-so-picture-perfect/real side of my life with mental illness… I think that everyone will be affected by mental illness in their lifetimes, be it their own personal suffering, or the suffering of someone they know. It seems to be so much more prevalent these days than generations before; I don’t think it’s because more people are getting sick now, I think it’s just because more people are getting help, which is awesome  : )

But, there are some days that you’re not so keen on talking about your crap to other people and you’d rather help yourself. Everyone has things that work for them; these are the things that work for me when I’m having a bit of a blue day…

 

1. Marley cuddles
Most people who struggle with depression generally know when they wake up if it’s a good day or not; I do, anyway. If it’s a good day, I’m usually out of bed and going for a walk or doing some weight training. If it’s not such a good day, Marley usually knows and makes himself very available for a cuddle. Studies have also shown that hugging a pet can help with depression, so grab your fur baby and snuggle it first thing in the morning before you even try to deal with the day!
IMG_0127

2. Braided hair
I’ve always loved braiding my hair; I think maybe because it takes some time and forces me to slow down for a few minutes. On those days where I feel particularly crap and revolting, even a little side braid pretties up an otherwise boring ponytail exponentially and makes you feel a little better, especially when people comment on how nice your hair looks. It’s like my own little self-love ritual  : )
1

3. Security-blanket clothes
I know it’s not a real term, but it’s one that I use a lot. My security blanket clothes are the clothes that I feel good in. They’re the ones that don’t make me feel self-conscious because they’re tight fitting or brightly coloured or too over the top. They’re pieces like my old, torn, blue jeans, my hooded red flannelette shirt, my over-sized white striped t-shirt, my denim shorts, my Hogwarts cardigan from London, my black and white long-sleeved floral printed swing dress, my brown leather lace up boots or my chucks. Crap day = wear a security-blanket piece.
2

4. Walk
Exercise is always recommended for people struggling with depression, but it doesn’t always have to be intense exercise; walking will do just fine, and I walk every day. Some days it’s a 5km walk before work with the husband and the fur baby. Some days it’s an after dinner stroll. Some days it’s getting off the train a few stations early and walking to the office the long way. Some days it’s all of the above. Even when you feel like absolute shit, fresh air is so, so important.
4

5. Lunch break cuppa & read
Pretty much every day. I cannot be stuck in an office all day, every day; I don’t know how other people do it. I eat my lunch at my desk while I’m working, and spend my lunch break most days drinking tea and reading a book at a cafe. I know it’s a bit of a waste to pay for tea when it’s just boiled water, a splash of milk and a tea bag, but I look at it more as investing a few dollars rent each day into my well being. If a $4 cup of tea and time to read is what’s gonna get me through the day, that’s not a waste of money. At the same time, that’s also why I always BYO lunch!
IMG_1582

6. Music
There are a few things I never leave the house without having in my handbag; a notepad and pen, a book to read, and my iPod. Music has always been incredibly important to me and has always played a big part in my life. I listen to my iPod on the way to and from work, and all day at work – on a bad day, the silence is too painful, especially in a big office. My go-to playlist is a compilation of a few Trombone Shorty albums, a few Rebirth Brass Band albums, the Treme soundtracks, and a few other random New Orleans jazz tunes. Works every. Single. Time.
3

7. Easy dinner
I love cooking; it relaxes me. But on the days where the disordered eating and food-related anxiety is at a horrible high, having food prepared and ready to go after dinner is so important. For that reason, I have a freezer full of frozen meals – once a week, I make a meal that is cheap and easy to cook in bulk and freeze, like my 6 ingredient fried rice. That way, if I wake up and know it’s gonna be a hard one, I just have to take dinner our of the freezer to defrost while I’m at work and it’s ready to be re-heated when I get home.
IMG_9082

8. Write
Always. Every single day. I have since the day I learnt to write, I will until my old fingers can no longer hold a pen.
IMG_3521

 

Tea time: Rustica, Melbourne – and overcoming disordered eating

Rustica Sourdough Bakery
402 Brunswick St, Fitzroy
http://rusticasourdough.com.au/

I was sitting at Rustica last Sunday with a pot of tea and my husband’s coffee and a Milo cronut in front of me, thinking about how much things have changed over the past year.

While I’m pretty open about my depression & anxiety issues, the disordered eating side of the dice isn’t something I speak about much. I think maybe because of my background (I studied exercise science at uni, worked as a personal trainer for a decade and was a half decent martial artist who represented her state in competition) I feel like I should have been stronger or more immune to it. Like I should have known better than to buy into the self hatred and dysmorphia and media-induced insecurities. Fool; if anything, I think it just made me even more susceptible. I guess it’s those same reasons that have me referring to it as “disordered eating” rather than a straight up “eating disorder;” there are other big reasons for this as well, but nothing I can go into without pissing certain people off..

Anyway, without getting into it all too much, because honestly, it’s not particularly easy to talk about just yet, one of the things I’ve struggled with the most is exercise. If I don’t work out every day to balance out what I eat, that’s failure. If I’m going out for dinner after work (a very rare occurance these days), I need to be up early to fit in a good hour workout before work. If we’re doing weekend brunch, there’s no time to sleep in – even a 10am brunch date means a 7.30am alarm to get in a good workout first. Needless to say, it’s exhausting. Part of the recovery plan was to cut myself a bit of slack around the workouts and not see them as punishment for eating… That’s been WAY harder than it should be!

Anyway, this particular Sunday, the challenge was placed before me; go out for breakfast, THEN have a cup of tea & a nibble a few hours later, without getting up early to workout and also without a meltdown/freak out. Challenge accepted. Infinitely easier with the husband by my side.

You saw the breakfast portion of the morning last week, at Sir Charles, which was absolutely spectacular. Because we were in my favourite part of Melbourne, we took a nice, long walk around the streets of Brunswick & Collingwood so I could check out my favourite vintage shops, stock up on tea at Aunt Maggie’s. Then, a visit to Rustica. My suggestion because I love this place & still hadn’t taken the husband there to try a cronut!

The breads and pastries are actually picture perfect (as demonstrated by the never ending iPhone-wielding crowds by the front door), and taste every bit as good as they look. We noticed one last Milo cronut sitting in the display case and snapped that up, much to the disappointment of the couple behind us (sorry… not sorry, it was amazing), along with a pot of tea and a coffee.  Tea, coffee and cronut all magnificent – that cronut in particular! So big and rich and creamy, you’d most likely be a little unwell if you have a dodgy stomach like me and still ate the lot, so it was good to share! It’s also a beautiful space to spend a bit of time in if you want to just chill out alone and maybe read or write, or draw in a sketch book, day dream, or reflect on where you’re at in life at the moment… Plenty of natural light, a great spot for people watching, smells amazing because it’s a bakery, that comforting Fitzroy vibe (just the right mix of hipster and boho and real), friendly staff who give you your space to do your thing, and amazing cronuts. Have you got a good egg in your life that has your back no matter what? Take them out for a cronut this week to say thank you  : )

I believe the time has come for me to re-introduce myself…

For someone who rarely struggles to find something to write about, I’m finding it really hard to know where to start this post… If you’ve been reading for a while now, you’ll know that I’m struggling a bit at the moment. I’m not the same person I was 18 months ago when I started writing here, and given that this space is more or less my “journal” of sorts and I’ve always written my way through hard times, I think that’s something I need to acknowledge here.

Before I go on, I realise that the honesty in the post might lose me some “followers,” and that’s OK. If some of what I write about makes you feel uncomfortable, or you’re just plain not interested in it, that’s perfectly fine. That said, I also can’t ignore what is increasingly an enormous part of myself and my life, and I’m pretty sure I can’t keep faking it to you guys either 🙂

IMG_7036

So, allow me to re-introduce myself…
Hi, I’m Jess :)I work in corporate travel by day and moonlight as a food & travel blogger.
I love to travel, I love to cook, I love to eat, and I love to write.
I live in Melbourne and love this city to bits.
I’m a bookworm, a tea enthusiast and a market fiend.
I’m a classic shy little introvert, and as such have seriously honed my skills in “faking it” and keeping up a happy, confident facade in public.
I’m currently dealing depression, anxiety and disordered eating.

Depression has been part of my life since I was about 16 years old. I think anxiety has been around for a while as well, I just haven’t known what to call it. The disordered eating is relatively new to the party. They’re all really hard, in their own ways.

It’s hard to wake up some mornings feeling as if a dark cloud has formed over your bed while you’re sleeping. It’s hard to get out of bed at 5.30am after only a few hours broken sleep so you can exercise before work, every morning, no excuses. It’s hard trying to explain and defend over and over again why you can’t just “be happy” when you have a perfectly lovely life, and there’s really “nothing wrong” with you and so many other people have it so much worse than you do. It’s hard wondering what the hell is wrong with you and having no rational reasoning behind it.

It’s hard to come home feeling miserable and flat with absolutely no explanation for your husband other than “I’m just having a blue day…” It’s hard knowing that you’re putting him through such a hard time. It’s so hard to feel like such a burden to the one person who’s been through it all with you for the past eleven years and still feel like you’re no closer to being “better,” when all you want in the world is to be better for them. It’s incredible to see how strong he always is, without hesitation or complaint, which makes it harder still to have one of those days; you just want the pressure to be taken off him from now on. 

It’s hard when your family don’t know or understand what you’re going through. It’s hard to realise that you haven’t got many friends left, because not many people are willing to stick around when you’re going through this shit. It’s hard to keep up a brave face in front of the amazing friends you do have left even when they do know what you’re going through. It’s hard driving to meet a friend for brunch and panicking the whole way there. It’s hard sitting in the cafe with your “happy happy food blogger OMG I love all of the food!” face on when you’re freaking out inside. It’s hard sometimes to post happy and upbeat writing on my blog when my heart is breaking. It’d be harder not having this space and place to write at all though – it’s a big part of what keeps me sane on the bad days!

It’s hard to be so scared of food some days when you’ve always loved it. It’s hard to be invited to lovely meals out that you can’t totally enjoy because you’ve spent two hours studying the menu for the “healthiest” option, then freak out completely when you get there and order the “unhealthiest” option possible, plus sides, plus dessert. It’s hard to come home feeling like a failure, and continuing to eat because you’ve already ruined everything anyway. It’s hard to feel so ill you can’t sleep. It’s hard to throw it all up. And as if that’s not all hard enough, throw in lactose and fructose intolerance!

It’s hard to realise that you really just can’t handle it on your own anymore, and that if you really do want that happily ever after, you’re going to have to enlist help. It’s hard making that first contact with a “professional.” It’s even harder turning up to that first appointment. Hardest of all is looking at a complete stranger, kind as they may be, and still trying to smile through the tears as you tell them that you just don’t know what to do anymore. That you’re depressed and anxious and you really don’t want to be. That despite your degree in exercise science and decade working in the health and wellness industry, you’ve still somehow become one of “those” women who hate their bodies and often binge and throw up and “restrict” calories. It’s really, really hard to own that. And it’s really hard to share that to God-only-knows how many strangers.

IMG_9652

I think it’s silly and unfair and dishonest for me to keep writing here as if there’s nothing wrong, as if my life is a shiny, perfect bundle of travelling and adventuring and cooking and eating (side note: it feels unbelievably good getting all of that off my chest! I’ve hated the last few weeks feeling like an imposter here!); that’s what I’m working towards, but we’re not quite there yet 🙂

I also wanted to tell you guys that while I may start to write a little more about this side of my life (now that I’ve actually acknowledged both to you guys and to myself what’s really going on), this is still going to be first and foremost a food and travel blog. Writing is my solace. Travel is what sets me free. Food can go either way, but I’m hoping that with a bit of help, I’ll be able to add that back to the “good” column! So if you’re just here for recipes and suggestions on places to eat at and things to add to your bucket list, don’t worry; those posts are gonna keep on coming!

Anyway, a huge thank you to everyone who is still following my adventures on here – it still amazes and humbles me so much to know that there are people out there who are still interested in what I have to say! And the online blogging community is amazingly supportive, which I’m super grateful for 🙂 To anyone else who’s fighting their own battle right now, my thoughts are with you guys – never be afraid to reach out for help, because there’s something better out there if you do! But right now, I’m kinda tired so I think I’m gonna try to get some sleep… Here’s to more tea, more travel, more books and better days coming!

xoxo

IMG_9695